Dear Prep,
I went on two more dates by the end of last week and went on another last night (Sunday). Here's the rundown:
1. CA Knicks Guy - Fun date - we were supposed to grab drinks (boring), but he called and asked me at the last minute if I wanted to go to a box he'd gotten tix for at the Knicks game! Umm, YES!! Pretty fun guy. Probably one of my better dates so far in terms of not being awkward and him being fairly normal. Slightly reminded me of two separate ex boyfriends, which was a little odd yet funny. No huge spark/things in common, but overall quite entertaining.
2. HVAC - Sigh. Not going to be able to see him again due to lack of spark. He's nice, though, and the activities that he planned were great! That sounds a little contrived and is, because actually spending time with him was just average.
3. Ivyrulz - Totally ridiculous for so many reasons, mainly consisting of the fact that, a) we went Dutch and it was the 1st date, b) he apparently has little to no manners whatsoever, and c) it lasted 3 hours and I was only actually entertained for, oh, maybe 15 minutes. I have never had "so much" in common with someone (same school, same major, similar interests) yet felt so annoyed/bored. I feel bad saying this, but it's true. Honestly, I know this is NY and everything, but if you're going to make me pay for my own dinner on the first date, you should just invite me to do something different. Really. The kicker was when he said that one time he went to TX and was chastised for not standing up to shake someone's hand, when "I didn't know that person and didn't care at all to meet them. I mean, when would I see them again? Who are they? Why do I need to know them and what use is it to me to meet them?" True story. This guy seemed quite... obnoxious. The one interesting point that made my $47 more worth it was the fact that I found out that his parents' neighbor is the author of The Rules book, so I started asking him questions about her. Apparently now she's divorced and is a slightly paranoid mother. Ah, life.
http://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446618799/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265078890&sr=8-1
Lessons learned: If you think that you don't like someone, you probably don't. If you think that you have something in common with someone and want to accept their dinner invitation, make sure that it's not going to be a waste of your money and time - prescreening is SO important.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Mediocrity (again) BUT an insightful clue about NY dating
Dear Prep,
Sigh. Went on another mediocre date last night. How much mediocrity can one person take? Apparently a lot! One point of the convo was fairly insightful, though...
Everything was fine last night with NGO guy: cute enough, smart enough to hold a decent conversation, employed, and tall enough, but again, there was NO spark. None whatsoever! I mean, people are cool, I like people, but I don't want to go out with someone again if I don't feel that I click with them. It just seems like a huge waste of time. Cross another guy off the list (just don't tell my mother it's going like this)!
One part of our conversation definitely stood out to me. NGO guy began asking me if I had met a lot of people online, to which I said no (a slight lie but it's less than 5 at this point). Then, he mentioned something about how when he first came to NY, he would go on one or two dates and if it didn't immediately work out, he would see someone else instead. Over time, however, he felt that this strategy didn't really work in terms of getting to know another person, so he started giving people "three or four chances" in order to facilitate building a connection with them beyond the first date.
To me, it seems like this makes a lot of sense in a way - someone could have a bad day on a first date, and they might have been The One and you could never know! You never know. Plus, I like the idea of a third chance.... However, I can also see the argument to "hit it and quit it" for lack of a better term, because I'm starting to run myself ragged with all of this dating.
Rest of this week's schedule: 1. New guy tomorrow, 2. HVAC Friday.
Sigh. Went on another mediocre date last night. How much mediocrity can one person take? Apparently a lot! One point of the convo was fairly insightful, though...
Everything was fine last night with NGO guy: cute enough, smart enough to hold a decent conversation, employed, and tall enough, but again, there was NO spark. None whatsoever! I mean, people are cool, I like people, but I don't want to go out with someone again if I don't feel that I click with them. It just seems like a huge waste of time. Cross another guy off the list (just don't tell my mother it's going like this)!
One part of our conversation definitely stood out to me. NGO guy began asking me if I had met a lot of people online, to which I said no (a slight lie but it's less than 5 at this point). Then, he mentioned something about how when he first came to NY, he would go on one or two dates and if it didn't immediately work out, he would see someone else instead. Over time, however, he felt that this strategy didn't really work in terms of getting to know another person, so he started giving people "three or four chances" in order to facilitate building a connection with them beyond the first date.
To me, it seems like this makes a lot of sense in a way - someone could have a bad day on a first date, and they might have been The One and you could never know! You never know. Plus, I like the idea of a third chance.... However, I can also see the argument to "hit it and quit it" for lack of a better term, because I'm starting to run myself ragged with all of this dating.
Rest of this week's schedule: 1. New guy tomorrow, 2. HVAC Friday.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
girlfriend goggles
priss,
i noticed something at my date tonight. most of the time, i was having a fairly good time, but periodically i would put on the 'girlfriend goggles' - lenses which i view someone qua their suitability to serve as a girlfriend. and, boy, it wasn't pretty. all i could think was, "where does this person get off thinking they have a right to date me?"
So let's stop going on second dates with people who we're slightly insulted think they have a chance. Put on those boyfriend goggles and evaluate these guys by the strictest standards you have: the standards one has to meet to qualify as boyfriend, and not merely friend, or acquaintance, or seks buddy material. Put another way: would you be proud to introduce them to your parents?
prep
i noticed something at my date tonight. most of the time, i was having a fairly good time, but periodically i would put on the 'girlfriend goggles' - lenses which i view someone qua their suitability to serve as a girlfriend. and, boy, it wasn't pretty. all i could think was, "where does this person get off thinking they have a right to date me?"
So let's stop going on second dates with people who we're slightly insulted think they have a chance. Put on those boyfriend goggles and evaluate these guys by the strictest standards you have: the standards one has to meet to qualify as boyfriend, and not merely friend, or acquaintance, or seks buddy material. Put another way: would you be proud to introduce them to your parents?
prep
P.S. - Boys overanalyze, too.
P.S. I was at a football party today where this guy started asking me (the only girl in attendance) questions about his Love Life. He was asking what he should text this girl who he really likes, if it's necessary to text her every day if she's not going to be here for two weeks ("will she forget me?"), and if he should keep seeing this other girl who went to dinner today with her ex boyfriend. The funny thing is, he seemed like a really normal guy - not overly sensitive or like the stereotypical idea of a wuss you'd think would be asking these questions. Just, you know, the guy who girls typically date.
It was very interesting because one of his questions was about whether or not he should read this girl's Black Berry Messages if he hasn't anything to respond, because she'd know that he'd read them and had nothing to say, and what would she think about that? This struck me as the standard question that a girl would ask, but I never knew that boys cared so much. It was a pretty big revelation for me. We literally talked about his girl issues for a half an hour Q&A session as other guys were also listening intently. He even asked for my email address so that he could ask me follow up questions, and before you jump to conclusions, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't just because he wanted to date me because that would be super odd at this point.
It was very interesting because one of his questions was about whether or not he should read this girl's Black Berry Messages if he hasn't anything to respond, because she'd know that he'd read them and had nothing to say, and what would she think about that? This struck me as the standard question that a girl would ask, but I never knew that boys cared so much. It was a pretty big revelation for me. We literally talked about his girl issues for a half an hour Q&A session as other guys were also listening intently. He even asked for my email address so that he could ask me follow up questions, and before you jump to conclusions, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't just because he wanted to date me because that would be super odd at this point.
too many boys, so little time
Dear Prep,
Thank you for your consideration of my time. After this weekend (particularly today), I now know that rules must be instated, or I may pass out from sheer exhaustion:
1. Nobody who misuses your/you're. This should have been learned in 4th grade and is a sign of a clear lack of couth.
2. Nobody who went to a school that I have not heard of (stole this one from you).
3. Nobody who makes me feel ADD/like I want to leave/nauseous.
4. Age limit = 29. Except for ROG.
[5. Optional - nobody who isn't cute enough OR tall enough. - Still have yet to instate this one for reasons that will be described below.]
This week I went on 5 dates. Yes. 5. Here's a brief overview of what transpired:
1. Comic Book Guy (CBG) - My first online date! Cute! Nice! However, he was just as you'd expect a CBG to act - a little weird/off/superhero-y. I wanted to like him, but honestly, as he ordered his second soda, I felt a sense of remorse for going on this date in the first place and immediately wanted to leave. It just didn't work. Left with a hug.
2. J Salsa - The second guy I met on the street. I had met him walking home the previous Saturday, when he noticed that I was tall and asked if I wanted to go salsa dancing on Wednesday. He seemed nice enough and claimed to go to an ivy, so I figured that I had nothing else to do on a Wednesday night and he could probably hold a semi interesting conversation, and I actually went! It was really fun - there was a mini salsa lesson, then we danced the night away at this Latin club. Literally. I felt like I was living on the edge since I had never done something like this before, nor had I met many guys on the street. (Okay, this was the second one.) He also told me that my legs are uneven (who knew!) which was a little odd but helpful long term. We went to have pizza afterwards and he asked if I was available this weekend, so I said sure.
3. The Guy I Liked - This guy messaged me for a little and then asked me to go out on Thursday to this mini-pub type place which ended up having good drinks and a fireplace (!). It started out a little awkward, but it ended really well - lots of discussion, sarcasm, and just a general sense of actually clicking with someone. He got me a cab around 12 when we were each going home, which was a nice touch, and asked when we could do something again. We decided that he would call me on Saturday to see if I was free. This would have been The Date of the Rest of My Life had he been even 4" taller (we are exactly the same height) or really cute. Sadly, neither of these were true, so I am not sure where to leave this one. I really like him, but could I marry him/make out with him due to these issues? Not sure.
4. HVAC - An engineer who works on HVAC in commercial buildings. I wasn't so sure about this guy's plan because he asked me out for a Friday, and the place that he'd picked was called a dive bar on Yelp. However, I met him at the place and he immediately seemed really sweet - though the place was terrible. He had saved a seat at the bar for me and sort of apologized for the bar being how it was; I think that he was hoping it had some live music, but it was REALLY shady. I'm 95% sure that the bartender was coked out, and HVAC kept having to shield me and my belongings from people spilling cheap beers on me. It was endearing. He seemed a little blue collar in a way - like he's someone who squeaks by in life, but he actually had interesting conversation to talk about and seems like he thinks a lot, which is good. Around 12 we were talking about live music places, and he asked if I'd want to go to one, so I said sure and we went somewhere in the West Village. I was pretty surprised by this, because blue collar generally does not equal really sweet jazz club in the West Village to me, so I started to think that I'd judged this guy too quickly. We had a drink or two at the jazz place and stayed until about 2:30, then he grabbed a cab to drop me at my house and asked when we could hang out again (at this point I'm 3/3 for the week not counting CBG who clearly got the impression that I didn't have fun when I almost didn't hug him - sad). He supposedly will call me this week.
4.5. The Guy I Liked - Called me on Saturday, but I ended up being busy and didn't have time to do anything; continued texting while I was out and about, then he asked me to drinks with his friends, but I still couldn't go because I had already made plans for that time slot. Would have been interesting to see how date 2 would go, but maybe we'll do something this week, assuming that I ignore the last optional rule above and go with the fact that he is awesome in every other way besides vertical challenges.
5. Repeat of J Salsa - This was today (Sunday). All I have to say is, NEVER AGAIN. J Salsa asked me to go to a boat show, which seemed cool, so I did. We arrive at the place, and he says what I think is a joke about sneaking in the exit so that we don't have to purchase tickets (which are each $12 = total of $24). I found out that he wasn't joking when he walked up to strangers and asked if we could have their wristbands/tickets, and handed one to me while telling me how to put it on. Really? Really!!!! Are you serious? This was an immediate red flag. We go in the boat show, we're looking at boats, we're talking to people about purchasing boats, and everything is fine. Not great, because he's a little unpolished, but fine. We go to the slightly larger boat section and he tells me our plan, "Okay. We have a house in East Hampton and we want to get a boat for it." I'm thinking it's a little weird, but potentially funny, so I oblige to play along. We look at some more boats, then we get to the larger boats ($500K+) and J Salsa is still playing the "I'm buying a boat" game. I'm sitting on the top of one of these boats when I see J Salsa come up to the top, laughing, followed by one of the guys who's selling the boats. The boat salesman is taunting J Salsa and whips out his wallet to show us that he has at least 4 Benjamins in his wallet and is telling J Salsa that he doesn't have two pennies to rub together and says, "keep trying to impress your little girlfriend", meaning me. At this point J Salsa says, "she's not my girlfriend, hope you start loving life, buddy", and he cracks up. I was totally ashamed and wanted to cry/leave. Boat salesman walks back down the boat, and finally J Salsa and I come down from the roof. At this point, I basically RUN over to where my shoes were (they made us remove them to check out the boats) and begin planning my escape. Out of the corner of my eye, I see J Salsa and Boat Salesman still taunting each other, and J Salsa says something out of his breath like, "That guy wants to get punched." I'm wondering where the hell I am - did I inadvertently sign up for Jersey Shore? Oh jeez. J Salsa FINALLY puts on his shoes after what seems like five very long minutes of taunting Boat Salesman and we continue walking around the boat show (now in quasi silence) for about 15 minutes, at which point he asks if I'm tired (I say yes) and grabs a cab to take me home. Thank goodness. The weirdest part was that he thought it went well, and he asked me out again! What the hell! You almost got into a FIGHT AT A BOAT SHOW AFTER STEALING TICKETS FROM STRANGERS!!!!
This brings me to your point, and the fact that all these dates have one thing in common - I wasn't sure but still agreed to another date. When J Salsa asked me out, and when all the other guys asked me, I always said "sure", even though I definitely wasn't 100% sure. I mean, yes, today when J Salsa asked if I could do salsa on Wednesday I said that I was busy, but I sure didn't say, "well, you basically did a terrible move when you nearly fought with the boat salesman after not even paying for boat show tickets - who do you think I am?" And why not? Wouldn't it have been good for this guy to at least KNOW that this is not acceptable adult behavior? Sigh.
I hate the blowoff... but I can't admit that I never do it. I'd rather go out with someone twice than admit that I don't want to go out with someone again.
All I really want is a nice, smart, normal yet funny guy who's at least a few inches taller than me and is reasonably cute. I don't feel like this is out of the question here. Is that so much to ask??
Thank you for your consideration of my time. After this weekend (particularly today), I now know that rules must be instated, or I may pass out from sheer exhaustion:
1. Nobody who misuses your/you're. This should have been learned in 4th grade and is a sign of a clear lack of couth.
2. Nobody who went to a school that I have not heard of (stole this one from you).
3. Nobody who makes me feel ADD/like I want to leave/nauseous.
4. Age limit = 29. Except for ROG.
[5. Optional - nobody who isn't cute enough OR tall enough. - Still have yet to instate this one for reasons that will be described below.]
This week I went on 5 dates. Yes. 5. Here's a brief overview of what transpired:
1. Comic Book Guy (CBG) - My first online date! Cute! Nice! However, he was just as you'd expect a CBG to act - a little weird/off/superhero-y. I wanted to like him, but honestly, as he ordered his second soda, I felt a sense of remorse for going on this date in the first place and immediately wanted to leave. It just didn't work. Left with a hug.
2. J Salsa - The second guy I met on the street. I had met him walking home the previous Saturday, when he noticed that I was tall and asked if I wanted to go salsa dancing on Wednesday. He seemed nice enough and claimed to go to an ivy, so I figured that I had nothing else to do on a Wednesday night and he could probably hold a semi interesting conversation, and I actually went! It was really fun - there was a mini salsa lesson, then we danced the night away at this Latin club. Literally. I felt like I was living on the edge since I had never done something like this before, nor had I met many guys on the street. (Okay, this was the second one.) He also told me that my legs are uneven (who knew!) which was a little odd but helpful long term. We went to have pizza afterwards and he asked if I was available this weekend, so I said sure.
3. The Guy I Liked - This guy messaged me for a little and then asked me to go out on Thursday to this mini-pub type place which ended up having good drinks and a fireplace (!). It started out a little awkward, but it ended really well - lots of discussion, sarcasm, and just a general sense of actually clicking with someone. He got me a cab around 12 when we were each going home, which was a nice touch, and asked when we could do something again. We decided that he would call me on Saturday to see if I was free. This would have been The Date of the Rest of My Life had he been even 4" taller (we are exactly the same height) or really cute. Sadly, neither of these were true, so I am not sure where to leave this one. I really like him, but could I marry him/make out with him due to these issues? Not sure.
4. HVAC - An engineer who works on HVAC in commercial buildings. I wasn't so sure about this guy's plan because he asked me out for a Friday, and the place that he'd picked was called a dive bar on Yelp. However, I met him at the place and he immediately seemed really sweet - though the place was terrible. He had saved a seat at the bar for me and sort of apologized for the bar being how it was; I think that he was hoping it had some live music, but it was REALLY shady. I'm 95% sure that the bartender was coked out, and HVAC kept having to shield me and my belongings from people spilling cheap beers on me. It was endearing. He seemed a little blue collar in a way - like he's someone who squeaks by in life, but he actually had interesting conversation to talk about and seems like he thinks a lot, which is good. Around 12 we were talking about live music places, and he asked if I'd want to go to one, so I said sure and we went somewhere in the West Village. I was pretty surprised by this, because blue collar generally does not equal really sweet jazz club in the West Village to me, so I started to think that I'd judged this guy too quickly. We had a drink or two at the jazz place and stayed until about 2:30, then he grabbed a cab to drop me at my house and asked when we could hang out again (at this point I'm 3/3 for the week not counting CBG who clearly got the impression that I didn't have fun when I almost didn't hug him - sad). He supposedly will call me this week.
4.5. The Guy I Liked - Called me on Saturday, but I ended up being busy and didn't have time to do anything; continued texting while I was out and about, then he asked me to drinks with his friends, but I still couldn't go because I had already made plans for that time slot. Would have been interesting to see how date 2 would go, but maybe we'll do something this week, assuming that I ignore the last optional rule above and go with the fact that he is awesome in every other way besides vertical challenges.
5. Repeat of J Salsa - This was today (Sunday). All I have to say is, NEVER AGAIN. J Salsa asked me to go to a boat show, which seemed cool, so I did. We arrive at the place, and he says what I think is a joke about sneaking in the exit so that we don't have to purchase tickets (which are each $12 = total of $24). I found out that he wasn't joking when he walked up to strangers and asked if we could have their wristbands/tickets, and handed one to me while telling me how to put it on. Really? Really!!!! Are you serious? This was an immediate red flag. We go in the boat show, we're looking at boats, we're talking to people about purchasing boats, and everything is fine. Not great, because he's a little unpolished, but fine. We go to the slightly larger boat section and he tells me our plan, "Okay. We have a house in East Hampton and we want to get a boat for it." I'm thinking it's a little weird, but potentially funny, so I oblige to play along. We look at some more boats, then we get to the larger boats ($500K+) and J Salsa is still playing the "I'm buying a boat" game. I'm sitting on the top of one of these boats when I see J Salsa come up to the top, laughing, followed by one of the guys who's selling the boats. The boat salesman is taunting J Salsa and whips out his wallet to show us that he has at least 4 Benjamins in his wallet and is telling J Salsa that he doesn't have two pennies to rub together and says, "keep trying to impress your little girlfriend", meaning me. At this point J Salsa says, "she's not my girlfriend, hope you start loving life, buddy", and he cracks up. I was totally ashamed and wanted to cry/leave. Boat salesman walks back down the boat, and finally J Salsa and I come down from the roof. At this point, I basically RUN over to where my shoes were (they made us remove them to check out the boats) and begin planning my escape. Out of the corner of my eye, I see J Salsa and Boat Salesman still taunting each other, and J Salsa says something out of his breath like, "That guy wants to get punched." I'm wondering where the hell I am - did I inadvertently sign up for Jersey Shore? Oh jeez. J Salsa FINALLY puts on his shoes after what seems like five very long minutes of taunting Boat Salesman and we continue walking around the boat show (now in quasi silence) for about 15 minutes, at which point he asks if I'm tired (I say yes) and grabs a cab to take me home. Thank goodness. The weirdest part was that he thought it went well, and he asked me out again! What the hell! You almost got into a FIGHT AT A BOAT SHOW AFTER STEALING TICKETS FROM STRANGERS!!!!
This brings me to your point, and the fact that all these dates have one thing in common - I wasn't sure but still agreed to another date. When J Salsa asked me out, and when all the other guys asked me, I always said "sure", even though I definitely wasn't 100% sure. I mean, yes, today when J Salsa asked if I could do salsa on Wednesday I said that I was busy, but I sure didn't say, "well, you basically did a terrible move when you nearly fought with the boat salesman after not even paying for boat show tickets - who do you think I am?" And why not? Wouldn't it have been good for this guy to at least KNOW that this is not acceptable adult behavior? Sigh.
I hate the blowoff... but I can't admit that I never do it. I'd rather go out with someone twice than admit that I don't want to go out with someone again.
All I really want is a nice, smart, normal yet funny guy who's at least a few inches taller than me and is reasonably cute. I don't feel like this is out of the question here. Is that so much to ask??
Saturday, January 23, 2010
the slo mo blowoff
Priss,
Before I get on to my main subject, I want to recommend that you institute hard and fast rules that disqualify a guy from consideration: above a certain age, below a certain school ranking. Otherwise you're going to run yourself ragged going on four dates in a five day workweek. That shit is just not sustainable. The volume of guys you're going to have to sift through is just too great not to use some initial qualifying criteria. One of the problems with this strategy is that asking where someone went to school might seem pretentious in a messenging convo. Sometimes its just more natural to wait until it comes up in conversation.
But onto my main subject: the extreme difficulty people have admitting to someone that they're not into them romantically. Instead, most people just resort to the blowoff. Why do we do this, and would it show more respect for the other person if we went to the trouble of telling them we weren't feeling it? But that approach feels confrontational and judgemental. Which way is kinder? I don't think its that obvious. For one thing, if you blow them off, they can invent whatever reson they like for why it didn't work out. But if you go tell them it didn't and produce some marginal reason, they don't have the luxury of using their (self indulgent) imagination.
So 2 of 3 last weeks girls will probably get the tried and true blowoff.
Cowardly,
Prep
Before I get on to my main subject, I want to recommend that you institute hard and fast rules that disqualify a guy from consideration: above a certain age, below a certain school ranking. Otherwise you're going to run yourself ragged going on four dates in a five day workweek. That shit is just not sustainable. The volume of guys you're going to have to sift through is just too great not to use some initial qualifying criteria. One of the problems with this strategy is that asking where someone went to school might seem pretentious in a messenging convo. Sometimes its just more natural to wait until it comes up in conversation.
But onto my main subject: the extreme difficulty people have admitting to someone that they're not into them romantically. Instead, most people just resort to the blowoff. Why do we do this, and would it show more respect for the other person if we went to the trouble of telling them we weren't feeling it? But that approach feels confrontational and judgemental. Which way is kinder? I don't think its that obvious. For one thing, if you blow them off, they can invent whatever reson they like for why it didn't work out. But if you go tell them it didn't and produce some marginal reason, they don't have the luxury of using their (self indulgent) imagination.
So 2 of 3 last weeks girls will probably get the tried and true blowoff.
Cowardly,
Prep
Saturday, January 16, 2010
the week of ROG, AKA the weirdest 2 dates of my life
Dear Prep,
So many apologies for the delay in response. I would send you 394739279 dates if I could as an apology, but it sounds like you've been doing quite well for yourself and thus I will let you continue living your life of dating leisure.
First things first, I would like to address your comment that "a woman is, on average, less of an idiot than a man" from your previous post. I am very pro-women's-rights, but I literally read this and LAUGHED. This is interesting to me for a few reasons. 1) I just spent the day talking to smart women who ruminate about the stupid things that males do and overanalyze why this occurs, 2) most of my male friends are not idiots as far as I can tell, and 3) a lot of women want to find boyfriends and if boys are so dumb, then doesn't that make women dumb if they want to get together with someone dumb? (A little circular, but hopefully you'll catch my drift.) It really has become disturbing to me how much women analyze what men do. Seriously, if he likes you, he'll probably call you, so why do you need to know why/why not?
I'll get to my dates this week and will then address yours (three?!!!! bow chica wow wow). I ended up being a little monogamous (don't hate the player, hate the game) and went out with the same guy twice in a row. Which guy was this? Why, Really Old Guy who bought me drinks last weekend. ROG texted me and wanted me to meet him, but I had two birthday parties to attend and no time to spare. You know, a girl's got to keep her social life. Anyway, around 1AM I decided that my social life was sleepy, so my friend and I left the bar and went home. ROG continued texting until about, oh, 3:30AM and I coyly said that I couldn't meet him because I was still at my friend's party. I mean come on, a priss doesn't "come dance with me at the W" with some shady guy at wee hours of the morning. It just doesn't work like that. Regardless, his texts were pretty endearing.
The next day I figured, hey, what the heck? I've never been out with a ROG and I want to do that. Life's for living on the edge! I sent ROG a text about his night before and lo and behold, he invites me to a jazz show that night. Sweet! I agree to go and end up getting there on time (for shame) and have to wait 15 minutes before he and his entourage arrive. His entourage includes a woman, clearly older than me and closer to his own age, who gives me a little bit of a look of disgust as we are introduced. ROG simply tells me the name of each person in his party without any qualifiers such as, "this is my friend so and so, this is my sister, this is my brother's girlfriend", so I have no earthly idea who this woman is. We sit at the table and my back is inevitably turned to ROG and this chick because of where ROG places my chair, so I'm forced to watch the jazz while ROG and Chick whisper behind me. This obviously pisses me off (I'm the priss and don't deserve to be treated like this.
I can only make one conclusion - I must be on the tv show The Bachelor! I can't believe that ROG has done this to me; why would he invite me to something where he's clearly invited another woman? I begin to get fumingly mad and decide that I might just leave since it's so awkward and weird and uncomfortable. Two seconds later I figure, F this! I like jazz! I'm going to watch it and enjoy it! I am a strong woman and I can handle this situation! This gives me renewed vigor just in time to see Bachelorette pay for her drink and ticket and leave, so I am elated and rush to the bathroom so that I can return to the table and swipe her now emptied seat. It was a clutch move. I start asking ROG generic questions, then eventually get to the questions of who everyone at the table is (ie, who the hell was that Bachelorette and what the hell is going on here), and he explains each person's status and says that the Bachelorette is his brother's friend from high school or cousin or something like that and says, "so do you see where you fit in now?[smiling]" I frankly didn't know if I did, so I just said, "Well... I guess..." and sipped on my drink while enjoying the music, which was nice.
So, the jazz ends and ROG and his friends are talking about the business they're in, which is really enrapturing if you're a female because it caters to females and involves shiny things. And I have a strong penchant for shiny things, as we know. Then the bill comes and ROG whips out a hundy and pays (I guess there were tickets since we each only had one drink?) and asks if I want to get drinks. I figure, suuure, why not? We went to grab drinks around my house, which was the other side of town, and it ended up being fairly fun although still somewhat awkward due to the weird start. He walks me home and says, "oh, what day is this... oh, what are you doing tomorrow?" to which I respond that it's a Monday and I typically don't make plans on Mondays. So he asks me out again for the next day for dinner! The balls! And of course I had to say yes based on the plotline thus far.
The next day he's texting me from lunchtime until about 5 and we decide that he'll choose where we go for dinner around 8. I get a text at 7:40 that says, "know a good place in midtown?" No! I don't know a good place in midtown, especially 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet when I probably needed to leave at this time! I text him that I just got home from work (true minus 20 min) and that I don't know a place in midtown and wait for him to respond with a destination, and he doesn't respond again until 8PM at which point he says, "I'll come to your area in about 10 minutes". Umm, what!? You want to not follow through AND tell me ten minutes ahead of time? I'm not going to sit around waiting to eat dinner with some dude who was late the day before and had some sketchy entourage with him! No way! I'm standing up for women everywhere by showing this guy that this is NOT acceptable/nice/thoughtful behavior! So, I promptly text him that I'm making other plans and need more than ten mins' notice. He texts that I can have 20 or 30 and then calls and asks if I still want to go. I tell him that it's not about the time, it's about the consideration, and that I thought that he would be nice enough to tell me where to be and when (as we discussed) more than ten minutes in advance without a plan of where he actually wanted to eat. He persuades me to come eat (asking people on the street, telling me we'll have fun, etc. etc.) and I really have no plans at this point anyway, so I decide to go because it will be interesting. We agree to meet in 30 min, so I finish getting ready and then sit around in my apartment for 20 minutes, just because I'm pissed off and I can. I don't take crap from guys, even if they're old and rich. They should know how to treat people nicely.
The strange part is, when I arrived, ROG apologized and the date ended up actually being really fun and lacked the extreme awkwardness of the previous night. We talked and talked and ate dinner and went for drinks and I ended up getting home at 1AM after discussing whether he usually dates young women, that he had meetings at Cartier that day, etc. etc. He walked me home and asked if I was coming to XX (the city where he lives) to which I said no, and then if I would go to Vegas, to which I said sure. We'll see if anything transpires, but who invites someone they've known for a weekend to Vegas? Who?!
It was interesting to say the least. Will respond to your dates soon, but am very impressed with your work thus far - ballin' and shot callin'.
So many apologies for the delay in response. I would send you 394739279 dates if I could as an apology, but it sounds like you've been doing quite well for yourself and thus I will let you continue living your life of dating leisure.
First things first, I would like to address your comment that "a woman is, on average, less of an idiot than a man" from your previous post. I am very pro-women's-rights, but I literally read this and LAUGHED. This is interesting to me for a few reasons. 1) I just spent the day talking to smart women who ruminate about the stupid things that males do and overanalyze why this occurs, 2) most of my male friends are not idiots as far as I can tell, and 3) a lot of women want to find boyfriends and if boys are so dumb, then doesn't that make women dumb if they want to get together with someone dumb? (A little circular, but hopefully you'll catch my drift.) It really has become disturbing to me how much women analyze what men do. Seriously, if he likes you, he'll probably call you, so why do you need to know why/why not?
I'll get to my dates this week and will then address yours (three?!!!! bow chica wow wow). I ended up being a little monogamous (don't hate the player, hate the game) and went out with the same guy twice in a row. Which guy was this? Why, Really Old Guy who bought me drinks last weekend. ROG texted me and wanted me to meet him, but I had two birthday parties to attend and no time to spare. You know, a girl's got to keep her social life. Anyway, around 1AM I decided that my social life was sleepy, so my friend and I left the bar and went home. ROG continued texting until about, oh, 3:30AM and I coyly said that I couldn't meet him because I was still at my friend's party. I mean come on, a priss doesn't "come dance with me at the W" with some shady guy at wee hours of the morning. It just doesn't work like that. Regardless, his texts were pretty endearing.
The next day I figured, hey, what the heck? I've never been out with a ROG and I want to do that. Life's for living on the edge! I sent ROG a text about his night before and lo and behold, he invites me to a jazz show that night. Sweet! I agree to go and end up getting there on time (for shame) and have to wait 15 minutes before he and his entourage arrive. His entourage includes a woman, clearly older than me and closer to his own age, who gives me a little bit of a look of disgust as we are introduced. ROG simply tells me the name of each person in his party without any qualifiers such as, "this is my friend so and so, this is my sister, this is my brother's girlfriend", so I have no earthly idea who this woman is. We sit at the table and my back is inevitably turned to ROG and this chick because of where ROG places my chair, so I'm forced to watch the jazz while ROG and Chick whisper behind me. This obviously pisses me off (I'm the priss and don't deserve to be treated like this.
I can only make one conclusion - I must be on the tv show The Bachelor! I can't believe that ROG has done this to me; why would he invite me to something where he's clearly invited another woman? I begin to get fumingly mad and decide that I might just leave since it's so awkward and weird and uncomfortable. Two seconds later I figure, F this! I like jazz! I'm going to watch it and enjoy it! I am a strong woman and I can handle this situation! This gives me renewed vigor just in time to see Bachelorette pay for her drink and ticket and leave, so I am elated and rush to the bathroom so that I can return to the table and swipe her now emptied seat. It was a clutch move. I start asking ROG generic questions, then eventually get to the questions of who everyone at the table is (ie, who the hell was that Bachelorette and what the hell is going on here), and he explains each person's status and says that the Bachelorette is his brother's friend from high school or cousin or something like that and says, "so do you see where you fit in now?[smiling]" I frankly didn't know if I did, so I just said, "Well... I guess..." and sipped on my drink while enjoying the music, which was nice.
So, the jazz ends and ROG and his friends are talking about the business they're in, which is really enrapturing if you're a female because it caters to females and involves shiny things. And I have a strong penchant for shiny things, as we know. Then the bill comes and ROG whips out a hundy and pays (I guess there were tickets since we each only had one drink?) and asks if I want to get drinks. I figure, suuure, why not? We went to grab drinks around my house, which was the other side of town, and it ended up being fairly fun although still somewhat awkward due to the weird start. He walks me home and says, "oh, what day is this... oh, what are you doing tomorrow?" to which I respond that it's a Monday and I typically don't make plans on Mondays. So he asks me out again for the next day for dinner! The balls! And of course I had to say yes based on the plotline thus far.
The next day he's texting me from lunchtime until about 5 and we decide that he'll choose where we go for dinner around 8. I get a text at 7:40 that says, "know a good place in midtown?" No! I don't know a good place in midtown, especially 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet when I probably needed to leave at this time! I text him that I just got home from work (true minus 20 min) and that I don't know a place in midtown and wait for him to respond with a destination, and he doesn't respond again until 8PM at which point he says, "I'll come to your area in about 10 minutes". Umm, what!? You want to not follow through AND tell me ten minutes ahead of time? I'm not going to sit around waiting to eat dinner with some dude who was late the day before and had some sketchy entourage with him! No way! I'm standing up for women everywhere by showing this guy that this is NOT acceptable/nice/thoughtful behavior! So, I promptly text him that I'm making other plans and need more than ten mins' notice. He texts that I can have 20 or 30 and then calls and asks if I still want to go. I tell him that it's not about the time, it's about the consideration, and that I thought that he would be nice enough to tell me where to be and when (as we discussed) more than ten minutes in advance without a plan of where he actually wanted to eat. He persuades me to come eat (asking people on the street, telling me we'll have fun, etc. etc.) and I really have no plans at this point anyway, so I decide to go because it will be interesting. We agree to meet in 30 min, so I finish getting ready and then sit around in my apartment for 20 minutes, just because I'm pissed off and I can. I don't take crap from guys, even if they're old and rich. They should know how to treat people nicely.
The strange part is, when I arrived, ROG apologized and the date ended up actually being really fun and lacked the extreme awkwardness of the previous night. We talked and talked and ate dinner and went for drinks and I ended up getting home at 1AM after discussing whether he usually dates young women, that he had meetings at Cartier that day, etc. etc. He walked me home and asked if I was coming to XX (the city where he lives) to which I said no, and then if I would go to Vegas, to which I said sure. We'll see if anything transpires, but who invites someone they've known for a weekend to Vegas? Who?!
It was interesting to say the least. Will respond to your dates soon, but am very impressed with your work thus far - ballin' and shot callin'.
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